The City That Built Me

I went home to Winnipeg for a week over the summer. I haven't been back there in a couple of years. The last time the Dueck clan got together was on a camping trip last August up in Northern Saskatchewan. I was preggers last summer, so this was the first time everyone got to meet little Lennox.

I had a feeling of nostalgia this trip. I found myself reminiscing my childhood a lot. It wasn't on purpose. It actually was rather random and caught me by surprise. Every other time I have gone home, it was just for a visit with the fam. I never cared to see where a lot of my memories came from. Has having Lennox opened my own heart and mind that much? Have I gotten even MORE sentimental with age? It appears so...

Paxton, the boys and I hit the highway early in the morning. It is at least a 12 hour drive without stopping. And travelling with 2 littles, we knew it could make for a long day. Lennox was an absolute angel. I sat in the backseat between both boys for most of the trip. It was a tight squeeze but neither of them seemed to mind. My butt on the other hand protested a bit. Magnus packed his own bag of distraction. He even packed his Despicable Me fart gun because he thought his cousins would laugh. (rest assured, it was a huge success). During the drive he was quite content with his Nintendo DS and the portable DVD player. How our parents managed a road trip when we were young, and we all lived to see the next day, I'll never understand;)

We spent most of the week just chilling at my brother's house. My nieces were so amazing with "Baby Lennox" and he loved them as much in return. Magnus enjoyed himself immensely and always says that he would like to stay and live with Auntie Katie and Uncle Jared. It is pretty cute and it must make them feel pretty good:) However, the last time he said that was in Saskatchewan and went as far as putting his bag in their truck. He was adimate! I was devastated and cried (keep in mind, I was extremely pregnant and maybe a tad hormonal) This time he was saying it just to get his cousin going. He's such a poop disturber sometimes.

While in the big city, I drove past the house we grew up in. The house number was 21. I never knew at the time, the significance that number would have in my life. It's a good number. It was a good house in a good neighbourhood. My parents made it home for us for nearly 27 years. It was an older house that survived the Flood back in the 50's. I remember the oak harwood that gave me slivers if I went barefoot. They were old and creaky. As I grew, I learned where they creaked and avoided them like land mines when sneaking in late at night. There was a Pine tree in the front yard that my brothers and I would jump over. It now looks like it has since been replaced with a Maple, but the house looks the EXACT same as it did when I moved out in '92.

The road still has the same cracks and the trees have grown over, now touching in the centre. Driving on our old street reminded me of the days of road hockey, tag, hide and seek and the best times on the front lawn playing Statue. Those were the days of innocence. There was no such thing as cyber-bullying or online stalkers. The use of telephones were limited to inside the house and were usually attached to the wall. Kids played outside and only went in when it was mealtime. Sigh, I miss simple living sometimes. It's hard to believe that now society can't live without any form of technology. It makes me wonder what kind of world our children's children will live in.

I met up with a dear friend from High school this trip. We have been friends since grade 9 and haven't seen each other probably in over 22 years. It was so great to see her again. It's nice to know that as much as things change, there are things that never change. High school to many are the worst years, but those 3 years for me were some of the best years. I had a great circle of friends. We grew up together. We survived the drama years...often adding a little flair to them ourselves. Oh those were some crazy days!

I attended Misericordia Hospital School of Nursing in the heart of downtown, along the Assinaboine River. I moved out and decided to lived in Residence and enjoyed my new found freedom...maybe a little too much on some occasions! My room was the size of a closet, with a sink and some shelves. The linoleum was BLUE!! But it was my space and I loved it...tacky blue flooring and all!

Nursing Residence 

I made some lasting friendships and will never forget the memories of living on Sherbrook Ave.  We would tan on the lawn of the hospital, along the river, while studying for exams. I was the darkest I'd ever been that first year...no sunscreen, just baby oil and iodine. So so stupid looking back! Skin cancer wasn't such a big worry back then. Nowadays I won't let the kids even outside without slathering it on.  

Entrance to the old part of the Hospital where we attended classes first year, right across the street from Res.

I can't believe this building is still standing!

We shopped at a little local grocery store down the road. It was kind of shady, but we still felt safe. There was a little hole in the wall diner we would all meet at for drinks after a long week of learning how to save lives:) This is where I learned to gamble by playing VLT's. I never became a millionaire at the Bella Vista, but spent money there like I had.

The good ol' Bella Vista still looks the same as 25 years ago

This was home for me for 2 years. It was a good place, and good time and I came out of it with 2 extra letters behind my name. And then I met the man of my dreams...and added 3 letters to the beginning of my name<3 I met Paxton in the summer between 1st and 2nd year. I went up to Red Lake to work and fell in love instead...awww:) He moved to Winnipeg that year and we were married a couple of years later in the Church I grew up in.

Winnipeg's pace is slow, which is a good thing. Except when you're stuck in traffic on the crappy roads...not so good. The weather in the summer is always reliable. The heat and humidity are a very good thing. The winters, however are not. It isn't as wealthy of a city as some, but the economy is on the rise. There's no keeping up with the Jones' here. People work hard and and live modest lives. All very good things. It is a good city. It is where I grew up. The memories I experienced here, the good and the bad, made me who I am today. It is the city that built me, and for that I am grateful. Go Jets Go!

PS. Thanks for coming on my little trip down memory lane :)

A Perfect World

Since having sweet little Lennox, life has changed some. Ok, alot! Yup this little fella has turned my life upside down. The house isn't as kept as I'd like and the laundry is always 8 feet high. Life has been extremely busy since his arrival 9.5 months ago. But I'll let you in on a secret...life could not be more complete. He has made our world even brighter with his constant look of adoration and his wide mouthed smile. Yes, I think the laundry can wait, and the house...well, whatever...it's lived in:)

Lennox has a great little life. He is more than thriving and so am I. Our own Circle 21 has gotten so much bigger that it's crazy to think one extra little chromosome can hold so much magic. But it truly does. It connects you to complete strangers. We all feel it, and it is a feeling that is indescribable. We admire, we encourage, we relate, and we genuinely care about each others children. Some whom we have never met nor will probably ever meet. We. Are. Connected.

We are also admired, encouraged and cared about by so many. Our family, our dear friends that have not wavered over time and our new friends we have met along the way, and by our Facebook followers that have chosen to follow our journey. All, to learn...to teach...to care and to share the love for Down syndrome. Thank you to each and every one of you! I have said it many times...your care and support is appreciated more than you probably will ever know. Please know that when I say this, that I'm not crying in a corner or laying on the floor in a puddle of self pity. The support we receive is ongoing encouragement and interest in what Lennox is up to, how he's doing and how we are managing. It's nice to know that people are in your corner and I am extremely grateful:) I admit though, where I thought I'd have an outpouring of support, there has been minimal. People I thought would be there and well to be honest haven't shown much interest at all... and I find myself wondering why that is. I know life is busy for everyone. I often wonder if some may feel that support may not be needed. That I always manage to get through things usually unscathed. Without a hair out of place. Haha, yeah right. Are they thinking..."They say he's more alike than different, so why should we treat Lennox any differently? We should just treat him the same as we do other children." Is that what goes through their minds, I wonder.

The truth is, yes he IS more alike than different. But raising him IS different than with my other children. Yes, we will treat him the same. We will encourage, celebrate, and discipline. But what some people may not realize is that it may be a little harder, a little more frustrating at times. We may have a little more heartache. The celebrations may be far and few between, but we will get there and when we do, there WILL be a celebration. But what many fail to realize is this...the road may be the same, but our journey is very different. The path is long and winding. The destination is the same, but the way we get there is not. So, please be thoughtful. Be helpful. Be considerate. We don't want special treatment. We don't expect you to understand. How is it that a group of strangers that don't know us from Adam are so kind and caring? The world of Down syndrome is a pretty unique world. A world where no one judges. No one really complains. It's a world where each day brings new hope. The world may not be perfect, but so far, this new world we have become a part of seems like a pretty perfect world to me.

And with parenting a child will special needs...as far as I'm concerned, he has no special needs. His needs are to be loved and to be believed in. Lennox is a baby who will grow into a boy and then into a man. He will grow with our love and guidance, just as our others will. He will learn to be kind, to love and respect, and to work hard. It may not be the easiest at times, but we will figure it out as we go. As long as he knows he's loved to the moon and back and as long as my other kiddos know the same, then we are doing alright! It IS a PERFECT world:)

I love my PERFECT life!

Follow my daily blog at http://facebook.com/lovinglennox

Enjoying the small things

Life with Lennox has been great. He is great! We seem to be at a stand still for development but I am ok with that. All in due time. We work daily on crawling...which isn't even close to happening but we practice anyway. He can sit for long periods while turning, bending, twisting and reaching and uprighting himself. He plays with toys and explores what they can do. I can see the little wheels turning behind those dark blue eyes. And I can't wait for him to start putting his thoughts in motion.

                       

Everyday I fall more in love with this little boy. He fills my heart up just by his looks, his smiles, his excitement and determination. The rest of the gang are pretty fond of him too. Magnus is such a proud big brother and is excellent with him. He is playful, interactive, patient and protective. He is an awesome kid, and loves his little brother to the moon. I know I will never have to worry when Magnus is around. He will always have his brother's back❤️so proud!

           

Life has been good. Crazy, but good. As good as it is, sometimes I feel that life is happening around me. I have been very busy with Miracles of 21, sharing stories and photos to help bring awareness. Working on a video project for awareness. Promoting my page...for awareness. It is something that is obviously very near and dear to my heart, but while I am BRINGING awareness, I may be losing a bit of myself in the process. A little self reflection has lead me to reevaluate. 

It seems that lately, a big priority has been my Facebook page and everything else seems to come in between updates and posts. My phone has become a major distraction. I want to share my love for Lennox with the world so they can see what I see. So they can feel what I feel and help shed some light to those that still may have reservations about children and people with disabilities. I feel I have been an advocate above everything else. It has been a balancing act and it has consumed me. As much as I love what I'm doing, I feel I need to reset. It's easy to become too caught up. I need to remember that I am Mom first, Advocate second. I need to start enjoying the small things again...

                         

It has been over a month since my last post, but to be honest, there hasn't been much to blog about. You can follow our daily shenanigans, on Loving Lennox. And I will continue to post when I can😊. 

I am off to bed. It's going to be another full day of being a mom tomorrow! I'm hanging up the phone. If you need me, I'll be at the park!

              

Thanks for your love and support💙💛