Just because...

When we learned at 14 weeks that our baby would be born with Down syndrome, we were surprised, but not really. After all I was well over the age of 35 and knew that our chances were high regardless. We chose to have a CVS to confirm...but just because I had prenatal testing doesn't mean that I had any intentions of putting a value on his life. He was our son no matter what. And I believe every life has value!

Just because we were sad following the diagnosis doesn't mean that we didn't want him. And it certainly didn't mean we loved him any less just because he had an extra chromosome. There now was just a little more to love <3

Just because Lennox has Down syndrome doesn't make him any less of a member of our family. He brings so much joy to our daily lives and his smiles make us smile from the inside out. He truly is invaluable and we couldn't possibly imagine life without him. And by him, I mean Lennox WITH Down syndrome, not who he'd have been if he didn't have that little something EXTRA. He is who he is meant to be, and so are we because of him.

Down syndrome is misunderstood by so many. Society has a certain idea of what Down syndrome is and that in turn places a certain level of fear into those planning to have or already expecting a baby. It's true, there are things about raising a child with Down syndrome that will differ from raising a child without Down syndrome. There are some more specialized needs that may require a little different approach to parenting and take a little more patience. But just because it may take a little longer to learn and do things, does not mean that Lennox or any of his friends will never be able to do things independently. Just because there is a degree of cognitive disability does not mean you will "have a child forever". Individuals with Ds are becoming more and more independent with the growing amount of resources and services that are available. You can't put limits on the possibilities of the abilities. Lennox shows us more and more every day what he is capable of achieving on his own. And his determination is something we all could learn from. And for the record, there are no guarantees that parenting will be a cake walk just because a child doesn't have Ds. Parenting is hard. PERIOD.

Just because Down syndrome is different, does not mean it is wrong. Just because Lennox may be seen as "different" does not mean people have the right to judge him based on his differences. Being different is what makes a person YOUnique. The world would be a pretty boring place if we all were the same. Take the time to see past the diagnosis. There is more ability to be seen than disability. We don't see Lennox any differently than our other kids. We are equally proud of each and very one of our 5 kiddos. They all are different and each bring something unique to our family. Lennox has Down syndrome. He may be a little delayed. He may need someone to watch over him when we are gone. But then again, he may not. Just because the literature says one thing doesn't mean it is always so. Research for Ds has evolved and in turn the stats for Down syndrome are forever changing. We believe in many things...but most of all we believe in Lennox and will never stop believing...EVER!

Just because I chose to share Lennox and our journey with the rest of the world, does not mean I am looking for anything. I share him because I am proud, that is no secret. I want to educate and bring awareness to others. There is great hope for children with Down syndrome. I wish to open as many hearts and minds as possible and if I can help even ONE family find peace, to see the beauty and celebrate the gift that comes with having a child with Down syndrome then I have achieved my goal! And I will keep sharing the love... just because it's just too awesome not to!

 I mean seriously...who wouldn't be happy seeing this sweet smile everyday?

#DsAM

Maybe someday...

I am usually pretty easy going. I like to look at things objectively and keep an open mind. Having a child with Down syndrome has not only opened my eyes but my ears as well. Hearing certain terminology used in regards to Down syndrome, truth be told...it irritates me. And I'm not talking about the R word. We all know that is considered politically incorrect and there already is a movement to try and eliminate that word from the rest of the world's vocabulary. I'm talking about other words...words you wouldn't automatically think would sound insensitive. It may just be me, but there are some that seem to set me off. I would like to try and shed some light and hopefully set the record straight. Maybe SOMEDAY, the choice of words used will be different.

Every time I have heard or seen this word used in reference to Down syndrome, it has been in news articles or broadcasts. But some people are under the assumption that our children "suffer" from Down syndrome. To me, that sentence just screams tragedy. Don't get me wrong, it's not all sunshine and rainbows either but I hardly consider my son to be suffering in any way, nor is he "affected" by his diagnosis. There are certain aspects of Ds that affect or delay development, or cause some significant health concerns, but I would never say that he is "affected by Ds". To be clear...Down syndrome is NOT a disease. It's not painful. It isn't a punishment nor is it a sentence. It is something my son will have forever, but it won't keep him from living a full, happy life. In fact, surveys have shown that 97% of people with Down syndrome actually LIKE who they are. That sounds more like thriving than suffering to me.

My son and many other children and people with Down syndrome are living happy and productive lives. Their "condition" doesn't limit them from doing anything. With hard work and the proper support, people with Down syndrome can achieve whatever they set out to do. The phrase "The only disability is the inability to see ability" seems very suiting. Down syndrome is a medical diagnosis, not a condition or a disorder. It is only a small PART of the individual, and the number of chromosomes should never define ANYONE or their abilities. 

It is very common to hear a baby or child with Ds, called a "downs baby". Hearing that term doesn't bother me much, but it still tugs at my heart a little when I hear someone say "Oh, he's downs or that little downs boy". Only because I don't want Down syndrome to be the first thing a person sees or thinks of when they look at my son or his friends. As a kind reminder...there is more than what meets your eye. Our children are people. Just people. Incredible and extraordinary people. You'd never hear "she's that little glasses girl or wheelchair boy". One may say "the little girl with glasses, or the boy in a wheelchair". But when it comes down to it, why is it so natural for people to voice the obvious differences? And seriously, does it really matter? Everyone wants to be seen for WHO they are, not for what makes them different. It's important to see the person FIRST rather than the disability.

Now the word "perfect" is a biggie for me. It's not the word so much as the message behind it. What exactly does being perfect mean? According to the dictionary, it's defined as "without flaws". Interesting. And anything deviating from that, I assume would be deemed imperfect or abnormal? So, when one describes a person or thing as perfect, it would be considered a compliment. And of course, everyone likes perfect. 

This is where my mind starts racing...

I have never really put much thought into the word until recently. When expecting a child, whether it be the first, fifth or fifteenth, the hopes are for a "perfect", healthy baby. Of course. Where I have trouble is when we start using the word "perfect" in terms of someone's genetic makeup. In my opinion, perfect is a word that comes with too many expectations. Following a prenatal diagnosis, there are certain medical practioners that encourage the mother to terminate the pregnancy. Having been in that position, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't torn. We were upset. We were angry. And we were scared. All common feelings under the circumstances, I suppose. I remember the pain, the sadness and the self doubt. If having 46 chromosomes is seen as "perfect", then having 47 chromosomes is considered what exactly? A mistake? A flaw? Does having 47 chromosomes make MY baby seem any less perfect?

Which leads me to the phrase "letting go of perfect". I have seen this a few times and I understand the message is acceptance for things we can not change. That everyone sees things differently and learns to embrace life in ways they never thought they could. It's grieving the loss of the idea of the child they thought they wanted. But find love and beauty in a gift of a child they never knew the needed. I get it. I think the message is beautiful, but personally, I haven't "let go" of anything. We wanted a perfect child, and that is what we got. Our son may not be seen as "perfect" by society's standards but he IS perfect to us. His extra chromosome makes him who he is. And we wouldn't change him for the world. True story.

Words hold a lot of hidden power. In any given situation, it is wise to choose your words carefully. I am out to change the world for my little boy. Even if it is only one person or one word at a time. It may not seem like much, but together we will make a difference someday. Change your thoughts and you can help change the world.

Thank you:)

The City That Built Me

I went home to Winnipeg for a week over the summer. I haven't been back there in a couple of years. The last time the Dueck clan got together was on a camping trip last August up in Northern Saskatchewan. I was preggers last summer, so this was the first time everyone got to meet little Lennox.

I had a feeling of nostalgia this trip. I found myself reminiscing my childhood a lot. It wasn't on purpose. It actually was rather random and caught me by surprise. Every other time I have gone home, it was just for a visit with the fam. I never cared to see where a lot of my memories came from. Has having Lennox opened my own heart and mind that much? Have I gotten even MORE sentimental with age? It appears so...

Paxton, the boys and I hit the highway early in the morning. It is at least a 12 hour drive without stopping. And travelling with 2 littles, we knew it could make for a long day. Lennox was an absolute angel. I sat in the backseat between both boys for most of the trip. It was a tight squeeze but neither of them seemed to mind. My butt on the other hand protested a bit. Magnus packed his own bag of distraction. He even packed his Despicable Me fart gun because he thought his cousins would laugh. (rest assured, it was a huge success). During the drive he was quite content with his Nintendo DS and the portable DVD player. How our parents managed a road trip when we were young, and we all lived to see the next day, I'll never understand;)

We spent most of the week just chilling at my brother's house. My nieces were so amazing with "Baby Lennox" and he loved them as much in return. Magnus enjoyed himself immensely and always says that he would like to stay and live with Auntie Katie and Uncle Jared. It is pretty cute and it must make them feel pretty good:) However, the last time he said that was in Saskatchewan and went as far as putting his bag in their truck. He was adimate! I was devastated and cried (keep in mind, I was extremely pregnant and maybe a tad hormonal) This time he was saying it just to get his cousin going. He's such a poop disturber sometimes.

While in the big city, I drove past the house we grew up in. The house number was 21. I never knew at the time, the significance that number would have in my life. It's a good number. It was a good house in a good neighbourhood. My parents made it home for us for nearly 27 years. It was an older house that survived the Flood back in the 50's. I remember the oak harwood that gave me slivers if I went barefoot. They were old and creaky. As I grew, I learned where they creaked and avoided them like land mines when sneaking in late at night. There was a Pine tree in the front yard that my brothers and I would jump over. It now looks like it has since been replaced with a Maple, but the house looks the EXACT same as it did when I moved out in '92.

The road still has the same cracks and the trees have grown over, now touching in the centre. Driving on our old street reminded me of the days of road hockey, tag, hide and seek and the best times on the front lawn playing Statue. Those were the days of innocence. There was no such thing as cyber-bullying or online stalkers. The use of telephones were limited to inside the house and were usually attached to the wall. Kids played outside and only went in when it was mealtime. Sigh, I miss simple living sometimes. It's hard to believe that now society can't live without any form of technology. It makes me wonder what kind of world our children's children will live in.

I met up with a dear friend from High school this trip. We have been friends since grade 9 and haven't seen each other probably in over 22 years. It was so great to see her again. It's nice to know that as much as things change, there are things that never change. High school to many are the worst years, but those 3 years for me were some of the best years. I had a great circle of friends. We grew up together. We survived the drama years...often adding a little flair to them ourselves. Oh those were some crazy days!

I attended Misericordia Hospital School of Nursing in the heart of downtown, along the Assinaboine River. I moved out and decided to lived in Residence and enjoyed my new found freedom...maybe a little too much on some occasions! My room was the size of a closet, with a sink and some shelves. The linoleum was BLUE!! But it was my space and I loved it...tacky blue flooring and all!

Nursing Residence 

I made some lasting friendships and will never forget the memories of living on Sherbrook Ave.  We would tan on the lawn of the hospital, along the river, while studying for exams. I was the darkest I'd ever been that first year...no sunscreen, just baby oil and iodine. So so stupid looking back! Skin cancer wasn't such a big worry back then. Nowadays I won't let the kids even outside without slathering it on.  

Entrance to the old part of the Hospital where we attended classes first year, right across the street from Res.

I can't believe this building is still standing!

We shopped at a little local grocery store down the road. It was kind of shady, but we still felt safe. There was a little hole in the wall diner we would all meet at for drinks after a long week of learning how to save lives:) This is where I learned to gamble by playing VLT's. I never became a millionaire at the Bella Vista, but spent money there like I had.

The good ol' Bella Vista still looks the same as 25 years ago

This was home for me for 2 years. It was a good place, and good time and I came out of it with 2 extra letters behind my name. And then I met the man of my dreams...and added 3 letters to the beginning of my name<3 I met Paxton in the summer between 1st and 2nd year. I went up to Red Lake to work and fell in love instead...awww:) He moved to Winnipeg that year and we were married a couple of years later in the Church I grew up in.

Winnipeg's pace is slow, which is a good thing. Except when you're stuck in traffic on the crappy roads...not so good. The weather in the summer is always reliable. The heat and humidity are a very good thing. The winters, however are not. It isn't as wealthy of a city as some, but the economy is on the rise. There's no keeping up with the Jones' here. People work hard and and live modest lives. All very good things. It is a good city. It is where I grew up. The memories I experienced here, the good and the bad, made me who I am today. It is the city that built me, and for that I am grateful. Go Jets Go!

PS. Thanks for coming on my little trip down memory lane :)

A Perfect World

Since having sweet little Lennox, life has changed some. Ok, alot! Yup this little fella has turned my life upside down. The house isn't as kept as I'd like and the laundry is always 8 feet high. Life has been extremely busy since his arrival 9.5 months ago. But I'll let you in on a secret...life could not be more complete. He has made our world even brighter with his constant look of adoration and his wide mouthed smile. Yes, I think the laundry can wait, and the house...well, whatever...it's lived in:)

Lennox has a great little life. He is more than thriving and so am I. Our own Circle 21 has gotten so much bigger that it's crazy to think one extra little chromosome can hold so much magic. But it truly does. It connects you to complete strangers. We all feel it, and it is a feeling that is indescribable. We admire, we encourage, we relate, and we genuinely care about each others children. Some whom we have never met nor will probably ever meet. We. Are. Connected.

We are also admired, encouraged and cared about by so many. Our family, our dear friends that have not wavered over time and our new friends we have met along the way, and by our Facebook followers that have chosen to follow our journey. All, to learn...to teach...to care and to share the love for Down syndrome. Thank you to each and every one of you! I have said it many times...your care and support is appreciated more than you probably will ever know. Please know that when I say this, that I'm not crying in a corner or laying on the floor in a puddle of self pity. The support we receive is ongoing encouragement and interest in what Lennox is up to, how he's doing and how we are managing. It's nice to know that people are in your corner and I am extremely grateful:) I admit though, where I thought I'd have an outpouring of support, there has been minimal. People I thought would be there and well to be honest haven't shown much interest at all... and I find myself wondering why that is. I know life is busy for everyone. I often wonder if some may feel that support may not be needed. That I always manage to get through things usually unscathed. Without a hair out of place. Haha, yeah right. Are they thinking..."They say he's more alike than different, so why should we treat Lennox any differently? We should just treat him the same as we do other children." Is that what goes through their minds, I wonder.

The truth is, yes he IS more alike than different. But raising him IS different than with my other children. Yes, we will treat him the same. We will encourage, celebrate, and discipline. But what some people may not realize is that it may be a little harder, a little more frustrating at times. We may have a little more heartache. The celebrations may be far and few between, but we will get there and when we do, there WILL be a celebration. But what many fail to realize is this...the road may be the same, but our journey is very different. The path is long and winding. The destination is the same, but the way we get there is not. So, please be thoughtful. Be helpful. Be considerate. We don't want special treatment. We don't expect you to understand. How is it that a group of strangers that don't know us from Adam are so kind and caring? The world of Down syndrome is a pretty unique world. A world where no one judges. No one really complains. It's a world where each day brings new hope. The world may not be perfect, but so far, this new world we have become a part of seems like a pretty perfect world to me.

And with parenting a child will special needs...as far as I'm concerned, he has no special needs. His needs are to be loved and to be believed in. Lennox is a baby who will grow into a boy and then into a man. He will grow with our love and guidance, just as our others will. He will learn to be kind, to love and respect, and to work hard. It may not be the easiest at times, but we will figure it out as we go. As long as he knows he's loved to the moon and back and as long as my other kiddos know the same, then we are doing alright! It IS a PERFECT world:)

I love my PERFECT life!

Follow my daily blog at http://facebook.com/lovinglennox

Enjoying the small things

Life with Lennox has been great. He is great! We seem to be at a stand still for development but I am ok with that. All in due time. We work daily on crawling...which isn't even close to happening but we practice anyway. He can sit for long periods while turning, bending, twisting and reaching and uprighting himself. He plays with toys and explores what they can do. I can see the little wheels turning behind those dark blue eyes. And I can't wait for him to start putting his thoughts in motion.

                       

Everyday I fall more in love with this little boy. He fills my heart up just by his looks, his smiles, his excitement and determination. The rest of the gang are pretty fond of him too. Magnus is such a proud big brother and is excellent with him. He is playful, interactive, patient and protective. He is an awesome kid, and loves his little brother to the moon. I know I will never have to worry when Magnus is around. He will always have his brother's back❤️so proud!

           

Life has been good. Crazy, but good. As good as it is, sometimes I feel that life is happening around me. I have been very busy with Miracles of 21, sharing stories and photos to help bring awareness. Working on a video project for awareness. Promoting my page...for awareness. It is something that is obviously very near and dear to my heart, but while I am BRINGING awareness, I may be losing a bit of myself in the process. A little self reflection has lead me to reevaluate. 

It seems that lately, a big priority has been my Facebook page and everything else seems to come in between updates and posts. My phone has become a major distraction. I want to share my love for Lennox with the world so they can see what I see. So they can feel what I feel and help shed some light to those that still may have reservations about children and people with disabilities. I feel I have been an advocate above everything else. It has been a balancing act and it has consumed me. As much as I love what I'm doing, I feel I need to reset. It's easy to become too caught up. I need to remember that I am Mom first, Advocate second. I need to start enjoying the small things again...

                         

It has been over a month since my last post, but to be honest, there hasn't been much to blog about. You can follow our daily shenanigans, on Loving Lennox. And I will continue to post when I can😊. 

I am off to bed. It's going to be another full day of being a mom tomorrow! I'm hanging up the phone. If you need me, I'll be at the park!

              

Thanks for your love and support💙💛

To my fellow mom...

Dear fellow mom,

I saw you shopping today, with your little boys. One in the basket and the other in the seat while you pushed the cart. I wanted to follow you. But I didn't. 

I wonder if you noticed me look your way and sense me smile as I admired your precious miracle. I wanted to see your little boy up close. I wanted to know his name, how old he was and to say hello. I was hoping to introduce my sweet Lennox. But you never looked up, so I didn't.

I was excited to see you. Excited to see your son. He looked to be about 2 years old. His blond hair and his amazing almond eyes and sweet button nose caught my attention. I felt like I was seeing my own son, a couple of years from now. He looked so strong. So smart. So sweet. And I was happy. I wanted to tell you all of this, but I didn't.

I saw you a couple times more...busy walking and talking to your little ones. I'm sorry I never had the chance to say hello, my fellow mom. Had the opportunity been there...I would have. Maybe next time. <3

Sincerely,
A fellow mom

Follow my daily blog at http://facebook.com/lovinglennox

Whirlwind

Over the past couple of weeks Lennox has made some great gains. It seems like we can go for a long stretch of nothing and then it's like a whirlwind of adventure happens!

The many faces of Lennox :)

The order of sequence of this excitement all started with him cutting his first tooth on the day of our walk for Ups and Downs. I admit I am pretty amazed that he is teething so early, as the literature led me to believe it happens late and teeth appear in random order. I guess it goes to show again that EVERY child is unique and the literature is more of a guideline than anything. So now he has one little white pearl poking through the top of his gum. It's so cute...I call it his snaggletooth:) 

Can you see it?

I feel something...what is that? 

He not only chews his fingers but chomps on anything!

Another exciting milestone is now Mr. Monkey can sit for short periods unassisted at 7 1/2 months!! These periods are getting longer and longer and his balance is improving daily. We are pretty amazed, excited and proud. Again, the information or "guidelines" state a child with Down syndrome can learn to sit unassisted between 6-18 months. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging but I'm pretty impressed with how hard he tries and how successful he's become!

It's a tough job being this cute!

I have been signing with him for a month or so. I wasn't exactly sure how much he was learning, but as with any new learned skill, it only comes with repetition and practice. He watches me like a hawk and smiles when I take his hands and have him sign back. We have worked on mommy, daddy, milk, eat, more and all done. It seems to have paid off! He signed his very first word a few days ago. It took me awhile to figure out if it was actually a sign, but now it's apparent! And his very first word was...mommy!! Yay, me!

We are still working on improving his sounds. Right now he still just makes the Aaaa sound. And yells alot! He also does that crazy coughing sound kids make, as if to say "excuse me!" He's vocal, and I love it. The sounds will come together eventually. I have decided that I will teach as much as I can and let him develop the way he is meant to. I'm not going to stress about what he's not doing but celebrate the things that he is. And I have to remember that I can't compare my beginning to someone else's middle. I know it will all come together in the end.

And believe it or not and as crazy as it sounds, Lennox will be attending the Early Learning Program at PREP this September. It's an early intervention preschool program that teaches daily skills through repetition and routine. It is a parented class once a week for 2 hours. I figured, it can't hurt. Gaining more knowledge and having a little more socialization for both of us is always a good thing! And since I am back to work in the Fall (drat) we won't get as many opportunities to meet up with his little buddies and their mommies!

Best buddies!

Things have been going well with our page. It's hard sometimes not to get caught up in Social Media., and become "over involved". I am all about bringing awareness and acceptance. It is very important to me now more than ever. I have always been a very accepting person. Now that I am paying closer attention, unfortunately I am learning that not all people are as open minded. Especially when it comes to being or looking a little "different". I feel it is my mission to open hearts and minds to the possibilities and change any negative views of disabilities. And to help Lennox grow up believing in himself as much (or more) than we do!

We aren't planning on raising Lennox any differently than our other children. The same rules and respect will apply. It may require a different approach, but we expect nothing short of great things for him! I want him to be included in play groups and on sports teams. I want him to be accepted for his individuality and uniqueness. I want people to be aware that our differences are what makes us who we are. I don't want to change the way he may see the world. It's my job to change the way the world sees him. And seriously, what's not to love?!

<3 <3 <3

I am so very proud. Proud of him. Proud to be his mom. I want to show him off! Is that wrong? After posting this on Miracles of 21, a wonderful follower suggested I enter this picture in a contest...hmmmm. 

The adventure in life, is to learn!

So I thought about and decided why not? It is a super cute photo. I googled "photo contests for kids" and thecutekid.com came up. I uploaded 3 pics and hit submit. But before it would process, I needed to pick a contest. Either the Cutest Kid where the prize is $25,000 or the People's Choice which is a photo selected by online viewers for each month with a prize of $250 to somewhere. I selected the first one. To be completely honest...I don't even care about winning any prize. Seriously. How awesome would it be if a child (and I mean ANY child, not just mine) with Down syndrome won and were featured in marketing?! So, I hit SUBMIT. But, again, before accepting the entry, I was asked for payment of $20/photo. I never read what it was for. I decided right then it wasn't a contest for us. Then surprisingly, somehow with all the clicks and what have you, one of the pics I uploaded had been selected for the People's Choice for the month of June. I'm not even entirely sure how it happened because my techy skills are somewhat sub-standard. It was deliberately by mistake if that makes sense! It wasn't the above picture that was selected but whatever. The one they chose is super cute too. But we had only 6 days left in June to generate votes. So thank you Facebook friends for helping us out <3. I know I don't need to win a contest to validate what a cutie my little man is. I know. Everyone who has had the opportunity to meet him, knows. Our trusted followers on Miracles of 21, know. 

My big and little <3

The purpose behind it runs much deeper than getting the title of the Cute Kid of the month. It's about bringing awareness, promoting inclusion and encouraging acceptance for ALL children, not just my own. Then, as I am posting for the link to vote for the 5th time on Facebook, I start overthinking things. What am I doing? Am I for real? Is this going to prove or change anything? I'm posting cute kid contests while others are posting updates on their strong, beautiful children that are fighting for their lives in a hospital room that has become their home away from home. And I'm concerned about getting enough votes to win a contest? Seems kind of silly and I feel ashamed for being so narrow-minded. So my question is this...am I pushing too hard for change? Am I making it a bigger deal than it needs to be? Am I caught up in my own whirlwind? Sometimes I wonder... 

Street Meet 2014

Here it is...ALL the photos from our Street Meet in iMovie format! Complete with a theme song! Our amazing team raised over $1600.00!! The total funds raised for Ups and Downs was nearly $40,000!

Another huge THANK YOU to all who supported us by donating, walking or sending us some LOVIN'. <3 

https://vimeo.com/98776977

Happy bloggin-versary:)

It has been a year since I started blogging about our journey with loving Lennox. We have come so far in this short amount of time. 365 days to be exact.

Looking back, it's hard to believe I ever had doubts. All my fears, my anxiety, and my grief are distant memories. My advice to anyone with a recent prenatal diagnosis is this...educate and celebrate. Your grief will pass and will be replaced by excitement, followed by joy. Your heart feels sadness at the moment, but soon will feel a love like no other.

The stats still surprise me. 1/10, they say survive a prenatal diagnosis. I'm not entirely sure where those statistics come from... I have met ALOT of moms that knew BEFORE their child was born that he/she would have Down syndrome. And it seems like a lot more than the stated 1/10. It warms my heart knowing that in our Ds community, the numbers are so much higher than the statistical 1/10. My hope is to bring so much awareness that those numbers will go even higher. I am so thankful we chose life. I can not imagine missing out on all there is to my sweet Lennox. He truly is our gift and is cherished beyond words.

So, it was just a short year ago that we set out on our journey with loving and learning all there is about raising a child with Down syndrome. So far, so good. I like this road!

We are gearing up for our second Ups and Downs walk this Saturday. Rain or shine, it will be a blast. We are all very excited, and especially since Lennox will be a part of it this year. There will be roughly 27 friends and family members walking for Team Lennox. I am so happy:) I will be posting pictures of course, so stay tuned. We managed to reach our fundraising goal of $1500.00. Yay for everyone that helped out and donated. Ups and Downs is an organization that we will be a part of for as long as we live in Calgary. So thank you, thank you! Your hard earned dollars will be put towards helping us help Lennox reach his full potential in life:) and for us to gain more insight as to what our life may hold as our journey progresses.

And thanks to all for following. I hope that in sharing our story manages to help shed some SUNSHINE where there may be darkness... 

Team Lennox! Booyah:)

On a side note, my beautiful and amazing daughter graduated grade 12:) and my smart and handsome big boy finished up at SAIT in Chemical Engineering and now  is officially a tax payer! So proud of both of my babies:) Here's a pic of Braedyn on grad night. No pics of Ky (yet)!

Life is good! xo

One of those days:(

I had a rough day today. I was EXTREMELY emotional for no good reason. It was so random and just plain silly. I'm not exactly sure why I am sharing this. I guess to admit to myself and others that life isn't always sunshine and rainbows:)

The day started off as every other except this morning Lennox and I dashed out the door at 8:00 am for his appointment with the Vision Clinic at ACH. Happy to report his peepers are perfect! Spent a couple of hours at the hospital and then headed for home. As usual, Mr. Man was an angel.

It was a typical morning except on the way to our appointment, I became teary thinking about something... Not even sure why it affected me, but it did nonetheless. I have a niece that is not only stunningly gorgeous on the outside but equally as beautiful on the inside. She has had a friend who happens to have Down syndrome for probably over 10 years. She posted a pic of them on FB and just thinking of it warmed my heart so much it actually brought me to tears. I love that girl and I know that she will ALWAYS have Lennox's back. Thank you Teagan, for being beautiful you<3

So that was just the start of my emotional breakdown. 

My mind seemed to be the worst place for me today...the more I thought about things, the loonier I became. I felt I was headed for Crazytown and my bags were packed. Driving home from the hospital, I became teary yet again for something I don't even remember now. Once home, I struggled with my FB page and the issues that seemed to have popped up overnight....VERY disheartening for me:(

I felt I needed some fresh air and the sun on my face to clear whatever crazy blues that had taken over my brain. You know how they say "A 10 minute walk is all you need to clear your mind and boost your spirit"? Not today. We walked for a whole hour and pretty much the whole time I was weeping about something... Lennox fell asleep and when I'd peek in and see him dozing so peacefully with his little tongue poking through his lips, thinking he is just so perfect...more tears. I thought about Lennox's upcoming walk for Ups and Downs and how our team will be close to 30 people. My peeps taking time to come out and support us means so much to me. I don't think they even have a clue how much it means to me. I'm tearing up again just thinking about it. Gah!!!  

I'm not entirely sure what other things crossed my mind on the walk, I just remember thinking...I am an ugly crier and people walking by are going to wonder what's wrong with my face! There are other families that I have connected with over FB that have legitimate reasons to cry today. And I actually cried for them too. What is my deal?

I honestly thought I was losing my mind. I wasn't sure what was happening to me or why. Early menopause maybe...? Whatever it was I'm glad the day is over. I'm not always a rock and I'm not always the glue. I am me and I am taking one day at a time. Some days are better than others. And today was an off day for me. I am okay admitting it. The sun will rise again tomorrow and with that comes a fresh start. Good night!

PS. My girlfriend's daughter, Megan posted on FB her fundraising campaign...for Down syndrome Awareness. http://teespring.com/miraclesof21

I had NO idea about this at all until it came up in my News Feed. And guess what happened next? It was the icing on the cake! Bless you Meg<3. I hope you raise your goal and more!!!

The Latest Buzz

Yesterday was a decent day. The sun was out for most of the day and the rain held off until after bedtime. Usually when the sun is out it makes me happy, but for some reason this weekend I have felt kind of blah... It's been a long week and I guess it's catching up with me.

Friday night was date night. Hubby and I went out for dinner and left the little ones with Grandma and Grandpa. Magnus always loves it when they watch him because he gets the treats that I like to limit and he stays up past his bedtime. But that's what Grandparents are for, and it makes him happy, so what is better than that? He has a very special relationship with his Fafa, and I can already see that Lennox will too.

Anyway, while we were out, Mr. Monkey rolled over on his own for the first time. Bittersweet. So happy that he finally did it, but disappointed that I missed out. We have been working on it all week! Little turkey:)  I did get to witness it all day however. He thinks he's a big man on campus and so he should. We had a little celebration every time. Still working on his sitting, but he slowly getting the hang of it. He is a strong boy and actually sits better with very little support when he's distracted. I don't get it. But whatever works, I'll gladly take.

                             

I had him at Children's Emerg again this past Monday for respiratory issues thanks to his cold. He became stridorous and we had a couple of sleepless nights. During his nap on Monday, I could hear his breathing getting a little more laboured and I actually noticed him having brief but frequent apneic spells, lasting about 2 seconds or so. So off we went. I wasn't going to play around with that overnight. He needed a couple of epinephrine inhalations to help with the immediate swelling followed by my favourite medication, Dexamethasone. They are questioning tracheomalacia, seeing as every time he gets sick, he has stridor and is a little young for Croup. It's something we need to keep in the back of our mind anyway, and if it happens again, we more than likely will be seeing ENT. We stayed 6 hours or so, until they were happy with his breathing. Home just after 1:00 am. He is much better now and has since passed his cold onto his brother. He's such a good baby even when he's sick. My sweet little man:) It really sucks when kids are sick. I worry a little more, sleep a little lighter and am a lot quicker to take him to the doctor, than any of the others. Only because he is more susceptible and his little body seems to get hit harder and way more often. Sigh*

                        

                           (This is him sick)

I have been busy with my Facebook page and website, trying to bring awareness and education for Ds. People ask me what am I trying or hoping to do. I don't really understand the reason behind the question. And I never know how to answer. The best way I can describe my hopes is this... I want to inform. I want to advocate. I want the rest of the world to see what we see. I want the doubters to become believers. And I'd like the believers to become advocates. I want to speak for my son. For him and his friends. For the strangers we see in the community and for the unborn. In hopes that maybe we can change the perception as to what the future may hold...

             

I sometimes am made to feel like it may be a hopeless idea. And I am being annoying or pushy. And maybe, just maybe I shouldn't care so much. I know that the people that care are already aware and offer some great support. I am learning as our journey goes on, that support comes from people you wouldn't expect. And where you thought you'd receive an abundance, you actually receive very little. It's interesting... I was also told that good people don't judge. That may be true. And I am grateful for that. But those same good people may not fully comprehend what the world of Down syndrome looks like. From the proper terminology to stereotyping to underestimating the abilities and possibilities of those with Ds. That's what I am hoping to do. I hope to clarify any misinformation. I don't expect to enlighten the immature fools that post pictures of themselves making funny faces on Instagram and give it a #downsyndrome. Or the ones that purposefully seek out photos of people or children with Ds and make rude comments. Unfortunately, I feel those kind of people have bigger issues and can't be"educated". I only wish we could change their perspective. But I guess I'll never know unless I try.

                                                   

So I have started a mini campaign on my Facebook page called Opening Hearts and Minds. If you're on Facebook and haven't checked out the page, you should:)  Maybe even give it a 'like'!! I have no idea what I am doing, and I don't even know if I am accomplishing what I am hoping to, but again, I feel I have to try. Many parents have come forward and want their kiddies to be a part of the project, which I think is awesome! I will keep you updated. So far, so good. It's a little slow taking off but I expected that. I will try to be patient, and better yet, try to keep my head up while waiting. Thanks to all that follow and support. It means the world to me<3

Here's a few cute pics just because:)

                     

                     

                             

Have a great week!