Room to grow

The saying "Ignorance is bliss" couldn't be farther from the truth.  What is so blissful about being ignorant?

The following saying that comes to mind is one I used to hear growing up..."Sticks and stones may break my bones..."  Cruel words said by uncaring and insensitive people don't hurt my feelings.  I am strong and mature enough to understand that ignorance is merely a lack of understanding or education.  And maybe perhaps some people are unaware of their insensitivity.

Either, or... It is something that we as a family are going to have to get used to.  Unfortunately, no matter where you go, there will always be "ignorant" people that feel their opinions or comments are worthy of sharing, despite the impact they may have.  Sometimes, these words can be taken out of context. It may not necessarily be the words spoken, but more the delivery that stings.  I feel that if it is coming from a caring heart, then these sometimes hurtful comments can be overlooked.  But when it is intentional, it can be difficult to find room in your heart for forgiveness. 

Not everyone we meet will share the same reaction.  Some people are empathetic, but happy while others are sympathetic and uncertain of what to say.  And somtetimes it is better "If you don't have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all."  In the end, the negative comments that have been said or thought aloud are irrelevant.  It is what is in our own hearts that matters most.

The other day, my mom was telling a friend of hers about the exciting and much anticipated arrival of our little man. She was quickly taken back by the woman's response.  It doesn't matter what she said or even how she said it. It was clear that her words were not said with good intentions.  It shocked my mom and initially really upset her, leaving her feeling like her news was unworthy of sharing.  But she is a smart woman, my mother and just chalked it up to her friend not knowing anything about DS, nor the strength of our family.  And perhaps this woman was not worthy of hearing her exciting news in the first place.  

My daughter has also received some lewd comments on Facebook.  The social media allows people to remain anonymous.  So no one truly "owns" these hurtful words.  Kids in grade 8 are just that...kids, with a lack of education and understanding of anything or anyone that may be considered "different".  Some may think they are being funny and are looking for a reaction from anyone around, not fully aware of what they are saying or how it may sound.  However, Jaye is one of the strongest kids around and although she was shocked and angered by the "ignorance" of this person, she realized that her choice not to react spoke louder than any words she could have spoken. She is the kind of person that will stand up for herself and others.  I don't doubt that she will change her world with her confidence and positivity.  Fortunately, there are more loving and inspiring comments than not.  And these words are the ones we keep close and have room for in our hearts.

It will be our job to build a shield of love around our little guy.  Our love and the love of everyone who will come to know him will keep him strong.  And when he is faced with the insensitivity of others, he can hopefully learn to overlook their "ignorance" of who he is and what he stands for.  He will teach them that being "different" is a good thing.  Watch out world and prepare to be amazed!!    

Maybe this journey will teach us to be more forgiving, more understanding and have more patience for those that aren't aware of the full potential people with Down syndrome can have.  I know he will teach us many things that we never even thought we needed to learn.  He will teach the world that everyone is worthy of love, kindness and respect.  And in turn, we will learn even the coldest of hearts has the potential for room to grow...