A Brother's Love

I still remember the conversation I had with Magnus back on March 21/14. The morning of World Down syndrome Day. Lennox was nearly 5 months old. I figured I'd best at least give him a heads up as to what WDS day meant and why we were celebrating it. It was short and sweet and went a little something like this...

Me: Magnus, Do you know why you and Colby are wearing Funky socks today? 

Magnus: Yeeesss...World Down syndrome Day (picture a 6 year old drawn out tone)

Me: Do you know what that means?

Magnus: mutters something about funky socks...

I explain that wearing funky socks is an expression that we all are different. Like socks. I'm not entirely sure I understood the meaning behind the whole sock thing either. Still very new to the community and learning about DSA ourselves, it seemed like the thing to do, so we just went with it. 

I proceeded in showing him a book called Lightness given to us from Ups and Downs. We looked through it together, reading the children's names. I don't know if this was the best approach, but I wanted to see if he noticed any similarities as we looked at each new smiling face. He asked questions as to why "Jimmy" had glasses or why "Ella" had tubes in her nose like Lennox did when he was really small. We chatted about differences and similarities of all children. And then I tried to explain what Down syndrome was... I asked if he thought any of the kiddos in the book looked the same or different than him or I. He replied, no. And this is where kids are so awesome. He just saw other kids. Some with glasses, some with oxygen. Some with pigtails and some without. And that was that.

We have openly talked about Down syndrome in our house for months prior to Lennox's arrival. It was commonplace and not something we tried to hide. Lennox would be born with Down syndrome...it wasn't a secret nor did we want our children to see as a negative. So I continued in telling him that the children in the book have Down syndrome. I then tried to explain to him that Ds is not a disease. People with Ds are not sick. It just means that they have a little something extra in their bodies that changes things a bit and that wasn't a bad thing. It just may take them a little longer to learn things, like crawl, walk or talk etc. That it's ok because they still will learn how to do those things. And it's always important to be patient and kind. He said he understood...but I'm not entirely sure if he really "got it". So I asked him if he thinks he knows anyone who has Down syndrome...and he replied "no"

Me: Yes you do...your little brother has Down syndrome.

Magnus: No he doesn't. 

And that was the end of it. He walked away. He was done. Checked out of the conversation completely, leaving me with my book and a small sense of failure. Wondering if maybe my approach was a bit off while gently reminding myself that he IS only six...

In recent conversation Magnus has asked me why Lennox isn't walking yet. It was anothrr perfect opportunity to explain that because his little brother has Ds means that he has to work a lot harder than other babies to move his muscles in order to walk. He seemed totally ok with this. However he was very concerned about Lennox's webbed pinky toe. Yup a little toe upsets him. He's worried that it will trip him up once Lennox does start walking. I reassured him that his toe would not and has not interfered with him getting around. I find it interesting though. He noticed that his toe is different, but hasn't noticed any other physical characteristics. I often wonder what our conversations will be like as Lennox grows and his characteristics start to change. For now, we are informing him on a need to know basis. He doesn't need to know anything more than what he feels. Love is love and that is that.

A year has passed since our first little sit down and we have since discussed Down syndrome many many times. We joined other families at our Street Meet this past June and he is already asking about our team shirts for this year's walk. World Down syndrome Day 2015 was much bigger than it was last year and he and his friends LOVED the idea of wearing their funky socks again. 

To say that Magnus has an understanding of Down syndrome is still uncertain. But we have established a base of knowledge and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter how much he actually knows. At this point in time, Magnus just sees his awesome little brother and in turn is learning through us about unconditional love and acceptance for all...it doesn't get any better than that! 

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a Superhero😍#trulyblessed

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Loving Lennox - A story of peace, love and Down syndrome