One day at a time

It has been an exciting couple of weeks since starting a page for Lennox on Facebook. I started it with hopes of bringing awareness, acceptance and inclusion. I still think we can do that. It'll just happen one day at a time. And I'm ok with that. So thank you to all who follow us! Keep sharing the love for Down syndrome :)

I really enjoy following other children and their families. It has been enlightening and also very humbling. I feel that we have been very fortunate that Lennox is as healthy as he is (aside from this nasty virus that won't go away) He is healthy. He is strong. Having said that, it doesn't mean I don't have worries and fears. I actually feel worried more now than ever...

I have read stories and seen pics of little ones with the many health issues associated with having Down syndrome. The sweet little babes with cardiac problems requiring surgery. Too young to have such a big mountain to climb. Other little ones with bowel and tummy troubles needing possible interventions and countless follow up appointments. Kiddies with AML/ALL and going through chemo. It really tugs at my heart. It is so close to home. That could have easily been us climbing those mountains, and my heart goes out those families. I pray for them and their precious warriors. I admire their courage and their strength. Their faith and their hope for the future. And I see the power of love. It is the love for their child that propels them through each day. One day at a time. God speed <3

I did all my research for Down syndrome during my pregnancy. I am aware of the obstacles and challenges that may lay ahead. I feel prepared. I feel Team Lennox can do this! But truly, how prepared can one be? And I admit, I am frightened for Lennox's future. Facebook has been inspiring in so many ways. However, it has opened my eyes to the many possibilities that could be around the corner. The fear of the unknown... Will he stay healthy? Will he be sickly every winter? Will he develop respiratory issues? Will he need oxygen again? Should I worry about the repeat blood work in 6 months? The list could go on forever. I feel overwhelmed and a sense of panic at times if I think too hard about what may come. And I feel ashamed that I am worrying about what could be, while others are experiencing it first hand.

There are many stories stating that raising a child with special needs isn't easy. The rewards will be worth more than gold, but not without a lot of hard work and a little heartache now and then. For me, right now it seems pretty 'easy'. Lennox is still a baby and he needs what every baby needs. Love and lots of cuddles. I am very comfortable with meeting those needs:) But I know as he grows up, it will become a little more complicated. There will be challenges that I am not familiar with. I want to be the best parent I can be to our little boy. I want to be his biggest fan, biggest advocate, biggest and best of everything to him! I want all those wonderful things but sometimes I wonder...can I actually be everything I need to be? Not only for Lennox, but for the others as well? I know I am strong now. But will I always be? 

I can't predict the future. I can't control whatever plans are in place for us. I can only believe that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. I may have fears and doubts for the future, but I am human. I also know that right now, I AM a soldier. I AM the glue that binds. I AM a parent to an amazing child! All I can do is take each day as it comes. 

Team Lennox...Booyah!