It's all okay...

Dear new parent,

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby! She's so perfect and tiny. 10 fingers and 10 toes and the cutest button nose you have ever seen. But there's more. You have just become a parent to an earth angel and she has Down syndrome. Two words you never thought you'd hear.

It's ok...that suddenly you feel like your dreams are shattered and your heart breaks. You're angry. You're scared. You're grieving. It feels like the end of your world as you know it. I get it. I felt all of the same emotions...I just got to feel them a little earlier. I am not sure which is easier, and it doesn't really matter. We all have our story. And we all process and cope in different ways. I am not going to tell you what to feel and I'm not going to tell you what not to feel. But I will tell you, it's ok to feel what you need to feel. And I will gently remind you that there is still so much to celebrate! You have created a beautiful baby. A precious little being. A valuable life. He may not be what you were expecting, but he is still very much your child and still needs you...to cuddle him and to nurture him. He needs you to accept him and to love him. 

It's ok...if she feels a little "softer" in your arms. Hold her close. Look at that sweet face<3 So beautiful! She looks like you...like your older daughter...or like her daddy.  She has the most AMAZING eyes that will disappear when she smiles. They will stop you in your tracks and warm your heart. And when she looks at you, she will see into your soul. She will see you for you, and will unconditionally accept you for all that you are and all that you feel you are not. 

It's ok...that you may be scared. You know nothing about raising a baby with special needs. You may have preconceived ideas about Down syndrome from when you were a child. Your doctors may have told you of the things that your baby can't or won't do. None of that matters now. YOU write your own story. NO ONE can tell you what your child will or will not do. There are no guarantees with any child. Your child with or without Down syndrome may or may not do things that you dream for them. It's ok...NO ONE knows. But s/he will LOVE you...that IS a guarantee!

It's ok that s/he will have to work a little harder and may take a little longer to reach those "milestones".  And it's ok to get discouraged sometimes. It takes time. But s/he will get there, with your help and when they do...you will scream with excitement. NO ONE can tell you what you child can or can not do. YOU are his teacher. His guardian. His biggest advocate. You are his mother. And he is your whole world! And that's better than ok. It's down right awesome! 

Welcome to the club, Mama<3  It's all going to be ok!

Love,

A very lucky mom to a very special little boy

2014 in a Nutshell

Wow! I can hardly believe that it is already the middle of January! Where has the time gone?

I feel negligent in the blogging department as of late. I can make up every excuse in the book, but it all comes down to writer's block. I got nothin!

But I will quickly recap 2014...better late than never ;)

This time last year we were still juggling oxygen tanks and tubing. Struggling with feeding issues and gaining weight. Ended up having to give up breastfeeding all together, thanks to a nasty bout of Mastitis, which proved to be a blessing in disguise. As soon as Mr. Man was getting the calories his little brain and body needed, he flourished. He caught up in weight and started being more alert and reaching those sweet newborn milestones, like smiling and holding up his head.

February took us to Mexico for the first time with a little baby in tow. Thankfully we retired the oxygen at the end of January which allowed us to be foot loose and fancy free throughout the streets of Nuevo Vallarta. We were told by numerous fellow vacationers that he was the cutest baby at the resort! I would have to agree with that one ;)

March we started Water therapy and this is a month for the books as we met our first friends within our Down syndrome community, which we are very grateful for. I can honestly say...the Down syndrome community rocks! This was also the month that I shared with extended friends and distant family that Lennox had Down syndrome...through starting my first FB page...gasp! The support was overwhelming! Like I said...LOVE LOVE LOVE this community and I love the fact that Lennox is changing hearts and changing the statistics with every new milestone he makes.

The months that followed were just a lot of the same shenanigans. Therapies, appointments, and coffee dates. A certain part of the day was dedicated to play therapy at home. Lennox was thriving. That's all I could have asked for. The rest was just gravy.

We made our first road trip to my hometown in Manitoba, which was a success. I loathe road trips, but this one was exciting as the rest of my family got to meet Lennox. I also managed to revisit the many "monuments" of my childhood. Winnipeg is the city that built me.

Once summer ended and school began, Lennox started attending PREP, which is an early learning program specifically for children with Down syndrome. We sing, we play, we focus on the basics of speech therapy, self awareness and being aware of others. We play, we visit, we laugh and sometimes we even cry. LOVE LOVE LOVE this program and love the people that have grown to be part of our family.

October marked a year of Loving our sweet Lennox. What a year it turned out to be...the ups and downs...but I wouldn't change a single moment. He has forever changed our family. And for that I am eternally grateful. LOVE LOVE LOVE my family! If you haven't seen his birthday video, be sure to check it out on Facebook.

I went back to work part time at the beginning of November. It was a difficult transition for me. I am more settled now but still miss his sweet smile like crazy. Having Lennox has opened my own heart and mind to the world of special needs. I feel I am more compassionate, more patient and understanding in caring for these families and their children. I have come to accept and appreciate that everyone has a story, and I am more than happy to hear it. I love my job.

Christmas was a quiet one for our family of 7. This year of all years has caused me to reflect and made me realize what truly matters in life. As we all sat unwrapping our gifts on Christmas morning, I had a different sense of gratitude and appreciation. The greatest of gifts didn't come wrapped in a bow. The greatest gift of this season for me was self growth. I am altogether a different person than I was this time last year...and it's all because of my awesome little man that blessed our family and our home with his sweet magic.

Lennox has been growing like a weed and is reaching his milestones. We work hard and he has the determination of his father. 2014 was a busy year. An awesome, busy year. We met many new friends whom we love dearly and look forward to watching our kiddos grow up together whether in be in real life or on FB. I have learned the true meaning of patience. I have a new sense of appreciation for the little things and accept the things that are out of my control. 

This upcoming year will be filled with many more new adventures as we continue to navigate this road of raising our beautiful boy. I look forward to seeing all the amazing things he will accomplish and the change the world is about to encounter. #IMREADY Go Lennox!

You can follow daily updates at Loving Lennox <3