2014 in a Nutshell

Wow! I can hardly believe that it is already the middle of January! Where has the time gone?

I feel negligent in the blogging department as of late. I can make up every excuse in the book, but it all comes down to writer's block. I got nothin!

But I will quickly recap 2014...better late than never ;)

This time last year we were still juggling oxygen tanks and tubing. Struggling with feeding issues and gaining weight. Ended up having to give up breastfeeding all together, thanks to a nasty bout of Mastitis, which proved to be a blessing in disguise. As soon as Mr. Man was getting the calories his little brain and body needed, he flourished. He caught up in weight and started being more alert and reaching those sweet newborn milestones, like smiling and holding up his head.

February took us to Mexico for the first time with a little baby in tow. Thankfully we retired the oxygen at the end of January which allowed us to be foot loose and fancy free throughout the streets of Nuevo Vallarta. We were told by numerous fellow vacationers that he was the cutest baby at the resort! I would have to agree with that one ;)

March we started Water therapy and this is a month for the books as we met our first friends within our Down syndrome community, which we are very grateful for. I can honestly say...the Down syndrome community rocks! This was also the month that I shared with extended friends and distant family that Lennox had Down syndrome...through starting my first FB page...gasp! The support was overwhelming! Like I said...LOVE LOVE LOVE this community and I love the fact that Lennox is changing hearts and changing the statistics with every new milestone he makes.

The months that followed were just a lot of the same shenanigans. Therapies, appointments, and coffee dates. A certain part of the day was dedicated to play therapy at home. Lennox was thriving. That's all I could have asked for. The rest was just gravy.

We made our first road trip to my hometown in Manitoba, which was a success. I loathe road trips, but this one was exciting as the rest of my family got to meet Lennox. I also managed to revisit the many "monuments" of my childhood. Winnipeg is the city that built me.

Once summer ended and school began, Lennox started attending PREP, which is an early learning program specifically for children with Down syndrome. We sing, we play, we focus on the basics of speech therapy, self awareness and being aware of others. We play, we visit, we laugh and sometimes we even cry. LOVE LOVE LOVE this program and love the people that have grown to be part of our family.

October marked a year of Loving our sweet Lennox. What a year it turned out to be...the ups and downs...but I wouldn't change a single moment. He has forever changed our family. And for that I am eternally grateful. LOVE LOVE LOVE my family! If you haven't seen his birthday video, be sure to check it out on Facebook.

I went back to work part time at the beginning of November. It was a difficult transition for me. I am more settled now but still miss his sweet smile like crazy. Having Lennox has opened my own heart and mind to the world of special needs. I feel I am more compassionate, more patient and understanding in caring for these families and their children. I have come to accept and appreciate that everyone has a story, and I am more than happy to hear it. I love my job.

Christmas was a quiet one for our family of 7. This year of all years has caused me to reflect and made me realize what truly matters in life. As we all sat unwrapping our gifts on Christmas morning, I had a different sense of gratitude and appreciation. The greatest of gifts didn't come wrapped in a bow. The greatest gift of this season for me was self growth. I am altogether a different person than I was this time last year...and it's all because of my awesome little man that blessed our family and our home with his sweet magic.

Lennox has been growing like a weed and is reaching his milestones. We work hard and he has the determination of his father. 2014 was a busy year. An awesome, busy year. We met many new friends whom we love dearly and look forward to watching our kiddos grow up together whether in be in real life or on FB. I have learned the true meaning of patience. I have a new sense of appreciation for the little things and accept the things that are out of my control. 

This upcoming year will be filled with many more new adventures as we continue to navigate this road of raising our beautiful boy. I look forward to seeing all the amazing things he will accomplish and the change the world is about to encounter. #IMREADY Go Lennox!

You can follow daily updates at Loving Lennox <3

Just because...

When we learned at 14 weeks that our baby would be born with Down syndrome, we were surprised, but not really. After all I was well over the age of 35 and knew that our chances were high regardless. We chose to have a CVS to confirm...but just because I had prenatal testing doesn't mean that I had any intentions of putting a value on his life. He was our son no matter what. And I believe every life has value!

Just because we were sad following the diagnosis doesn't mean that we didn't want him. And it certainly didn't mean we loved him any less just because he had an extra chromosome. There now was just a little more to love <3

Just because Lennox has Down syndrome doesn't make him any less of a member of our family. He brings so much joy to our daily lives and his smiles make us smile from the inside out. He truly is invaluable and we couldn't possibly imagine life without him. And by him, I mean Lennox WITH Down syndrome, not who he'd have been if he didn't have that little something EXTRA. He is who he is meant to be, and so are we because of him.

Down syndrome is misunderstood by so many. Society has a certain idea of what Down syndrome is and that in turn places a certain level of fear into those planning to have or already expecting a baby. It's true, there are things about raising a child with Down syndrome that will differ from raising a child without Down syndrome. There are some more specialized needs that may require a little different approach to parenting and take a little more patience. But just because it may take a little longer to learn and do things, does not mean that Lennox or any of his friends will never be able to do things independently. Just because there is a degree of cognitive disability does not mean you will "have a child forever". Individuals with Ds are becoming more and more independent with the growing amount of resources and services that are available. You can't put limits on the possibilities of the abilities. Lennox shows us more and more every day what he is capable of achieving on his own. And his determination is something we all could learn from. And for the record, there are no guarantees that parenting will be a cake walk just because a child doesn't have Ds. Parenting is hard. PERIOD.

Just because Down syndrome is different, does not mean it is wrong. Just because Lennox may be seen as "different" does not mean people have the right to judge him based on his differences. Being different is what makes a person YOUnique. The world would be a pretty boring place if we all were the same. Take the time to see past the diagnosis. There is more ability to be seen than disability. We don't see Lennox any differently than our other kids. We are equally proud of each and very one of our 5 kiddos. They all are different and each bring something unique to our family. Lennox has Down syndrome. He may be a little delayed. He may need someone to watch over him when we are gone. But then again, he may not. Just because the literature says one thing doesn't mean it is always so. Research for Ds has evolved and in turn the stats for Down syndrome are forever changing. We believe in many things...but most of all we believe in Lennox and will never stop believing...EVER!

Just because I chose to share Lennox and our journey with the rest of the world, does not mean I am looking for anything. I share him because I am proud, that is no secret. I want to educate and bring awareness to others. There is great hope for children with Down syndrome. I wish to open as many hearts and minds as possible and if I can help even ONE family find peace, to see the beauty and celebrate the gift that comes with having a child with Down syndrome then I have achieved my goal! And I will keep sharing the love... just because it's just too awesome not to!

 I mean seriously...who wouldn't be happy seeing this sweet smile everyday?

#DsAM

Maybe someday...

I am usually pretty easy going. I like to look at things objectively and keep an open mind. Having a child with Down syndrome has not only opened my eyes but my ears as well. Hearing certain terminology used in regards to Down syndrome, truth be told...it irritates me. And I'm not talking about the R word. We all know that is considered politically incorrect and there already is a movement to try and eliminate that word from the rest of the world's vocabulary. I'm talking about other words...words you wouldn't automatically think would sound insensitive. It may just be me, but there are some that seem to set me off. I would like to try and shed some light and hopefully set the record straight. Maybe SOMEDAY, the choice of words used will be different.

Every time I have heard or seen this word used in reference to Down syndrome, it has been in news articles or broadcasts. But some people are under the assumption that our children "suffer" from Down syndrome. To me, that sentence just screams tragedy. Don't get me wrong, it's not all sunshine and rainbows either but I hardly consider my son to be suffering in any way, nor is he "affected" by his diagnosis. There are certain aspects of Ds that affect or delay development, or cause some significant health concerns, but I would never say that he is "affected by Ds". To be clear...Down syndrome is NOT a disease. It's not painful. It isn't a punishment nor is it a sentence. It is something my son will have forever, but it won't keep him from living a full, happy life. In fact, surveys have shown that 97% of people with Down syndrome actually LIKE who they are. That sounds more like thriving than suffering to me.

My son and many other children and people with Down syndrome are living happy and productive lives. Their "condition" doesn't limit them from doing anything. With hard work and the proper support, people with Down syndrome can achieve whatever they set out to do. The phrase "The only disability is the inability to see ability" seems very suiting. Down syndrome is a medical diagnosis, not a condition or a disorder. It is only a small PART of the individual, and the number of chromosomes should never define ANYONE or their abilities. 

It is very common to hear a baby or child with Ds, called a "downs baby". Hearing that term doesn't bother me much, but it still tugs at my heart a little when I hear someone say "Oh, he's downs or that little downs boy". Only because I don't want Down syndrome to be the first thing a person sees or thinks of when they look at my son or his friends. As a kind reminder...there is more than what meets your eye. Our children are people. Just people. Incredible and extraordinary people. You'd never hear "she's that little glasses girl or wheelchair boy". One may say "the little girl with glasses, or the boy in a wheelchair". But when it comes down to it, why is it so natural for people to voice the obvious differences? And seriously, does it really matter? Everyone wants to be seen for WHO they are, not for what makes them different. It's important to see the person FIRST rather than the disability.

Now the word "perfect" is a biggie for me. It's not the word so much as the message behind it. What exactly does being perfect mean? According to the dictionary, it's defined as "without flaws". Interesting. And anything deviating from that, I assume would be deemed imperfect or abnormal? So, when one describes a person or thing as perfect, it would be considered a compliment. And of course, everyone likes perfect. 

This is where my mind starts racing...

I have never really put much thought into the word until recently. When expecting a child, whether it be the first, fifth or fifteenth, the hopes are for a "perfect", healthy baby. Of course. Where I have trouble is when we start using the word "perfect" in terms of someone's genetic makeup. In my opinion, perfect is a word that comes with too many expectations. Following a prenatal diagnosis, there are certain medical practioners that encourage the mother to terminate the pregnancy. Having been in that position, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't torn. We were upset. We were angry. And we were scared. All common feelings under the circumstances, I suppose. I remember the pain, the sadness and the self doubt. If having 46 chromosomes is seen as "perfect", then having 47 chromosomes is considered what exactly? A mistake? A flaw? Does having 47 chromosomes make MY baby seem any less perfect?

Which leads me to the phrase "letting go of perfect". I have seen this a few times and I understand the message is acceptance for things we can not change. That everyone sees things differently and learns to embrace life in ways they never thought they could. It's grieving the loss of the idea of the child they thought they wanted. But find love and beauty in a gift of a child they never knew the needed. I get it. I think the message is beautiful, but personally, I haven't "let go" of anything. We wanted a perfect child, and that is what we got. Our son may not be seen as "perfect" by society's standards but he IS perfect to us. His extra chromosome makes him who he is. And we wouldn't change him for the world. True story.

Words hold a lot of hidden power. In any given situation, it is wise to choose your words carefully. I am out to change the world for my little boy. Even if it is only one person or one word at a time. It may not seem like much, but together we will make a difference someday. Change your thoughts and you can help change the world.

Thank you:)

The City That Built Me

I went home to Winnipeg for a week over the summer. I haven't been back there in a couple of years. The last time the Dueck clan got together was on a camping trip last August up in Northern Saskatchewan. I was preggers last summer, so this was the first time everyone got to meet little Lennox.

I had a feeling of nostalgia this trip. I found myself reminiscing my childhood a lot. It wasn't on purpose. It actually was rather random and caught me by surprise. Every other time I have gone home, it was just for a visit with the fam. I never cared to see where a lot of my memories came from. Has having Lennox opened my own heart and mind that much? Have I gotten even MORE sentimental with age? It appears so...

Paxton, the boys and I hit the highway early in the morning. It is at least a 12 hour drive without stopping. And travelling with 2 littles, we knew it could make for a long day. Lennox was an absolute angel. I sat in the backseat between both boys for most of the trip. It was a tight squeeze but neither of them seemed to mind. My butt on the other hand protested a bit. Magnus packed his own bag of distraction. He even packed his Despicable Me fart gun because he thought his cousins would laugh. (rest assured, it was a huge success). During the drive he was quite content with his Nintendo DS and the portable DVD player. How our parents managed a road trip when we were young, and we all lived to see the next day, I'll never understand;)

We spent most of the week just chilling at my brother's house. My nieces were so amazing with "Baby Lennox" and he loved them as much in return. Magnus enjoyed himself immensely and always says that he would like to stay and live with Auntie Katie and Uncle Jared. It is pretty cute and it must make them feel pretty good:) However, the last time he said that was in Saskatchewan and went as far as putting his bag in their truck. He was adimate! I was devastated and cried (keep in mind, I was extremely pregnant and maybe a tad hormonal) This time he was saying it just to get his cousin going. He's such a poop disturber sometimes.

While in the big city, I drove past the house we grew up in. The house number was 21. I never knew at the time, the significance that number would have in my life. It's a good number. It was a good house in a good neighbourhood. My parents made it home for us for nearly 27 years. It was an older house that survived the Flood back in the 50's. I remember the oak harwood that gave me slivers if I went barefoot. They were old and creaky. As I grew, I learned where they creaked and avoided them like land mines when sneaking in late at night. There was a Pine tree in the front yard that my brothers and I would jump over. It now looks like it has since been replaced with a Maple, but the house looks the EXACT same as it did when I moved out in '92.

The road still has the same cracks and the trees have grown over, now touching in the centre. Driving on our old street reminded me of the days of road hockey, tag, hide and seek and the best times on the front lawn playing Statue. Those were the days of innocence. There was no such thing as cyber-bullying or online stalkers. The use of telephones were limited to inside the house and were usually attached to the wall. Kids played outside and only went in when it was mealtime. Sigh, I miss simple living sometimes. It's hard to believe that now society can't live without any form of technology. It makes me wonder what kind of world our children's children will live in.

I met up with a dear friend from High school this trip. We have been friends since grade 9 and haven't seen each other probably in over 22 years. It was so great to see her again. It's nice to know that as much as things change, there are things that never change. High school to many are the worst years, but those 3 years for me were some of the best years. I had a great circle of friends. We grew up together. We survived the drama years...often adding a little flair to them ourselves. Oh those were some crazy days!

I attended Misericordia Hospital School of Nursing in the heart of downtown, along the Assinaboine River. I moved out and decided to lived in Residence and enjoyed my new found freedom...maybe a little too much on some occasions! My room was the size of a closet, with a sink and some shelves. The linoleum was BLUE!! But it was my space and I loved it...tacky blue flooring and all!

Nursing Residence 

I made some lasting friendships and will never forget the memories of living on Sherbrook Ave.  We would tan on the lawn of the hospital, along the river, while studying for exams. I was the darkest I'd ever been that first year...no sunscreen, just baby oil and iodine. So so stupid looking back! Skin cancer wasn't such a big worry back then. Nowadays I won't let the kids even outside without slathering it on.  

Entrance to the old part of the Hospital where we attended classes first year, right across the street from Res.

I can't believe this building is still standing!

We shopped at a little local grocery store down the road. It was kind of shady, but we still felt safe. There was a little hole in the wall diner we would all meet at for drinks after a long week of learning how to save lives:) This is where I learned to gamble by playing VLT's. I never became a millionaire at the Bella Vista, but spent money there like I had.

The good ol' Bella Vista still looks the same as 25 years ago

This was home for me for 2 years. It was a good place, and good time and I came out of it with 2 extra letters behind my name. And then I met the man of my dreams...and added 3 letters to the beginning of my name<3 I met Paxton in the summer between 1st and 2nd year. I went up to Red Lake to work and fell in love instead...awww:) He moved to Winnipeg that year and we were married a couple of years later in the Church I grew up in.

Winnipeg's pace is slow, which is a good thing. Except when you're stuck in traffic on the crappy roads...not so good. The weather in the summer is always reliable. The heat and humidity are a very good thing. The winters, however are not. It isn't as wealthy of a city as some, but the economy is on the rise. There's no keeping up with the Jones' here. People work hard and and live modest lives. All very good things. It is a good city. It is where I grew up. The memories I experienced here, the good and the bad, made me who I am today. It is the city that built me, and for that I am grateful. Go Jets Go!

PS. Thanks for coming on my little trip down memory lane :)