All Aboard the Potty Train

Big things have been happening in the Lang household. Two words. Potty. Training.

About two months ago I noticed Lennox was showing signs of possible bladder control. His diaper was often dry throughout the day and during bath time he would instantly pee the second his feet hit the water, but would stop the flow and then proceed again. Although I have years of past experience with my other 4, I am by no means a potty training expert. He wasn't even two yet...he possibly couldn't be anywhere near ready to start learning to use a potty.

Of all the literature I've read since having Lennox, none of it included on how to potty train. I just knew based on what I had heard, that I shouldn't really "expect" anything until at least 3.5 - 4 years. Fair enough. I was prepared to wait.

It wasn't something that I set out to do with any real expectations, but I figured it couldn't hurt getting him used to at least sitting on his Frog pot, even if was a year before anything ended up in the bottom of it. A week before his second birthday, after countless sit downs with him getting up right away wanting to jump into the tub not understanding what it was for, I decided to try putting the pot INTO the tub. Something I never thought of with the rest of my gang. Needless to say, it worked. Just add water ;) After his success, of course there were cheers of excitement from both him and I. I thought maybe it was a fluke but was thrilled nonetheless. The following two nights, he did the exact same thing. You could literally see it in his face "Ohhh, that's what his little Frog seat is for!"

Next step was trying the Pot on the bathroom floor, not expecting much but he went instantly, surprising me yet AGAIN! That's when I decided it was go time. And he's been going ever since...and that was 3 weeks ago. He even wakes up and if I get to him fast enough he will wait until he's sitting down to go. We are back to waking frequently in the night because of it, but that's more than ok with me...he likes to hug while on the potty in his sleepy stupor...it is the sweetest thing. I can force myself out if bed in the dead of night for that anytime! Two poocastrophies and one accident in the car which happened the second we pulled into the driveway...totally our fault for keeping him out too long...and now he is fully day trained...poop and all! FOUR months ahead of his siblings. That's a record with the Lang Gang!!

Down syndrome? So what!

If I have learned anything over the last couple of years, it's not to set limits based on what anyone else says. How do you know what your child is capable of doing if you don't challenge them a little. The long and the short of it is...I have learned that when it comes to Lennox, to expect the unexpected.

Our top ten toys and tools...

I'm no Child Developmet Specialist but I've been asked what we've used over the year to aid in reaching developmental milestones. So I thought I'd share a few of our faves with you. 

Initially I thought I needed to go out and spend a whole ton of money on toys that would help focus on learning new skills...skills that I never paid much attention to with my "typical" kiddos. Rest assured the following items are not a must have, they are simply what we found helpful...and they didn't break the bank. 

We used the puppy piano by Fisher Price in just about everything we did. This was one of Lennox's faves! It also was a hit with big bro too;)

Used in combination with a tumbling mat from Ikea stacked as a table encouraged kneeling, which was a tricky milestone for the longest time for us. Also came in handy for tumbling with the older brother...and Fort building and may or may not have been used as a barricade after Mr. Mister became mobile;)

Stacking blocks is something Lennox has just recently learned. I never had anything like this for my other kids as they just kinda learned this skill as time went on. But as we know any kind of fine motor skill learned can never hurt...hence stacking blocks from Infantino were a perfect choice for us. They're a rubber material so slipping once stacked is minimal. We LOVE them and it's fun to see how high he can stack them!

El cheapo stacking cups from Ikea are also fun. Lennox tries stacking them but usually just likes nesting them instead:)

The Fisher Price shape sorter has yet to be used as a sorter. When Lennox was just learning to sit unassisted, we'd fill the bucket with links or anything else to encourage putting in and taking out. A recommendation made by our Child Development Specialist. The shapes are also narrow enough to encourage pincer grasping. Not to mention the added bonus of it being a sorter as skills develop. The sorting is still a developing skill for us...Lennox just can't be bothered at the moment but his interests change by the day...so you never know what tomorrow will bring.

Another neat toy to aid with fine motor is the Fisher Price gum ball machine. Roll around balls are perfect for little hands and go in the top teaching cause and effect with the touch of a lever releasing the balls back down. Lennox especially loved the balls and would chase them or bang them together once the novelty of the machine wore off! Lol

Sitting and sitting to stand with assistance...we used the mat and also the toddler stool from Ikea. Cheap and did the trick. We used as a seat in combination with the activity table(below) and now...it's a stool...Ta-Da!! A multi purpose purchase fo sho;)

Once able to stand for short periods, we loved the Activity Table by Fisher Price. The music still brings back happy memories and I may or may not know the tunes by heart;)

When we were working on crawling I tried the Catch me Kitty by V-Tech. It has a sensor that causes the toy to move when your child comes too close, encouraging them to move to catch it. His first few shuffles were with chasing this obnoxious cat but hey, it was something I was willing to put up with if it meant mobility. I tried to get him to chase it today while walking and well, he's now just too darn fast and caught it every time! 

His all time favourite was his Rocktivity ball which he would roll and chase once he was crawling. He had no interest in it when it was opened but as a ball it was a huge hit...and still is!

There you have it folks. Our list of go to's that we loved over the past year. I wonder what our faves will be this year...

A Brother's Love

I still remember the conversation I had with Magnus back on March 21/14. The morning of World Down syndrome Day. Lennox was nearly 5 months old. I figured I'd best at least give him a heads up as to what WDS day meant and why we were celebrating it. It was short and sweet and went a little something like this...

Me: Magnus, Do you know why you and Colby are wearing Funky socks today? 

Magnus: Yeeesss...World Down syndrome Day (picture a 6 year old drawn out tone)

Me: Do you know what that means?

Magnus: mutters something about funky socks...

I explain that wearing funky socks is an expression that we all are different. Like socks. I'm not entirely sure I understood the meaning behind the whole sock thing either. Still very new to the community and learning about DSA ourselves, it seemed like the thing to do, so we just went with it. 

I proceeded in showing him a book called Lightness given to us from Ups and Downs. We looked through it together, reading the children's names. I don't know if this was the best approach, but I wanted to see if he noticed any similarities as we looked at each new smiling face. He asked questions as to why "Jimmy" had glasses or why "Ella" had tubes in her nose like Lennox did when he was really small. We chatted about differences and similarities of all children. And then I tried to explain what Down syndrome was... I asked if he thought any of the kiddos in the book looked the same or different than him or I. He replied, no. And this is where kids are so awesome. He just saw other kids. Some with glasses, some with oxygen. Some with pigtails and some without. And that was that.

We have openly talked about Down syndrome in our house for months prior to Lennox's arrival. It was commonplace and not something we tried to hide. Lennox would be born with Down syndrome...it wasn't a secret nor did we want our children to see as a negative. So I continued in telling him that the children in the book have Down syndrome. I then tried to explain to him that Ds is not a disease. People with Ds are not sick. It just means that they have a little something extra in their bodies that changes things a bit and that wasn't a bad thing. It just may take them a little longer to learn things, like crawl, walk or talk etc. That it's ok because they still will learn how to do those things. And it's always important to be patient and kind. He said he understood...but I'm not entirely sure if he really "got it". So I asked him if he thinks he knows anyone who has Down syndrome...and he replied "no"

Me: Yes you do...your little brother has Down syndrome.

Magnus: No he doesn't. 

And that was the end of it. He walked away. He was done. Checked out of the conversation completely, leaving me with my book and a small sense of failure. Wondering if maybe my approach was a bit off while gently reminding myself that he IS only six...

In recent conversation Magnus has asked me why Lennox isn't walking yet. It was anothrr perfect opportunity to explain that because his little brother has Ds means that he has to work a lot harder than other babies to move his muscles in order to walk. He seemed totally ok with this. However he was very concerned about Lennox's webbed pinky toe. Yup a little toe upsets him. He's worried that it will trip him up once Lennox does start walking. I reassured him that his toe would not and has not interfered with him getting around. I find it interesting though. He noticed that his toe is different, but hasn't noticed any other physical characteristics. I often wonder what our conversations will be like as Lennox grows and his characteristics start to change. For now, we are informing him on a need to know basis. He doesn't need to know anything more than what he feels. Love is love and that is that.

A year has passed since our first little sit down and we have since discussed Down syndrome many many times. We joined other families at our Street Meet this past June and he is already asking about our team shirts for this year's walk. World Down syndrome Day 2015 was much bigger than it was last year and he and his friends LOVED the idea of wearing their funky socks again. 

To say that Magnus has an understanding of Down syndrome is still uncertain. But we have established a base of knowledge and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter how much he actually knows. At this point in time, Magnus just sees his awesome little brother and in turn is learning through us about unconditional love and acceptance for all...it doesn't get any better than that! 

Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a Superhero😍#trulyblessed

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Loving Lennox - A story of peace, love and Down syndrome

Spread the word...

Even before our journey began, I thought it was important to be considerate of others. Growing up, I never treated anyone who was seen as "different" any differently and I certainly NEVER called anyone with a disability the R word! Although I do plead guilty of having used the slang variations on occasion in my much much younger years. I simply cannot defend myself, nor am I even going to try. It's shameful. There was no thought going into how it actually sounded. I am aware now more than ever, that words hold a lot of power and have the ability to cause a lot of pain.

I am not one to get on my soap box and preach. I am not. BUT I do like to stand up for what I believe is right. And in this day and age, using the R word simply IS NOT RIGHT. Some rationalize by saying "It's a generation thing". Call it what you will. It still doesn't change the fact that is inconsiderate, inappropriate and disrespectful. Not to mention, "so last century'!

In the middle of the 20th century, the terms "mental retardation" and "mentally retarded" were invented to replace the previous set of terms which were deemed to have become offensive. By the end of the 20th century, these terms have become widely seen as politically incorrect and in need of replacement(Wikipedia) I am so glad that ship has sailed and anything medically relating to the word "slow progression" is now considered in certain instances, a restriction. The new and more acceptable terms used are intellectual or cognitive disability. However, I have still heard the retired terms used on numerous occasions by medical professionals. I shake my head. How can the rest of society be aware and you with all your knowledge still be so incredibly ignorant? If you are a professional, BE aware. Lead by example. BE professional! 

The slang use of the word "retarded" to describe a situation or an event or otherwise sounds absolutely absurd. And honestly, when I hear people use this word in this context it literally takes my breathe away. I never imagined I could experience a physical reaction to a word. But it seriously feels like a sucker punch in the gut, even though it has absolutely NOTHING to do with me or my child. It's not right and honestly, it's a lazy descriptive word that really doesn't even make sense and sounds rather crass. So if you're one that uses this word to describe a bad movie or an outrageously overpriced item..STOP and please think of an alternate word. A better one.

And if you call a person...ANY person the R word...well then you're just plain rude. If you call a person with a disability, the R word, then you are an ignorant a$$ and maybe a few other choice words. 

People ask..Is it EVER ok to use the R word? Unless you are speaking in regards to actively slowing an object down, then the answer is yes. If not, then NO.

I have heard so many stories where this word was used offensively and when confronted, the individual becomes defensive and sometimes even belligerent. Seriously?! That just blows my mind. Why get uptight if someone calls them on their ignorance? Are they THAT pigheaded that they refuse to admit they slipped or made a poor choice in words? Are they embarrassed and feel they need to defend themselves? GET OVER YOURSELF!!

I can preach all I want in a closed forum. I do want to help spread the word to end the word, however, I also like to avoid confrontation. It's part of who I am, but I know that day will come where I will have to defend my son or one of his friends. And when that day comes, Lord help that person!

In the meantime, if you DO use the R word from time to time unintentionally or otherwise, I ask you to kindly STOP! Respect others. Rethink of an alternate word. Remove it from your vocabulary. You may think you're only one person but by being a leading example, others around you may follow. Let's end this RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Take the pledge...for Lennox. For his friends. And for everyone else with a cognitive disability. People are people. If you have already taken the pledge, we thank you! To see more visit www.r-word.org 

Ok, I will get off my soap box now. 

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It's all okay...

Dear new parent,

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby! She's so perfect and tiny. 10 fingers and 10 toes and the cutest button nose you have ever seen. But there's more. You have just become a parent to an earth angel and she has Down syndrome. Two words you never thought you'd hear.

It's ok...that suddenly you feel like your dreams are shattered and your heart breaks. You're angry. You're scared. You're grieving. It feels like the end of your world as you know it. I get it. I felt all of the same emotions...I just got to feel them a little earlier. I am not sure which is easier, and it doesn't really matter. We all have our story. And we all process and cope in different ways. I am not going to tell you what to feel and I'm not going to tell you what not to feel. But I will tell you, it's ok to feel what you need to feel. And I will gently remind you that there is still so much to celebrate! You have created a beautiful baby. A precious little being. A valuable life. He may not be what you were expecting, but he is still very much your child and still needs you...to cuddle him and to nurture him. He needs you to accept him and to love him. 

It's ok...if she feels a little "softer" in your arms. Hold her close. Look at that sweet face<3 So beautiful! She looks like you...like your older daughter...or like her daddy.  She has the most AMAZING eyes that will disappear when she smiles. They will stop you in your tracks and warm your heart. And when she looks at you, she will see into your soul. She will see you for you, and will unconditionally accept you for all that you are and all that you feel you are not. 

It's ok...that you may be scared. You know nothing about raising a baby with special needs. You may have preconceived ideas about Down syndrome from when you were a child. Your doctors may have told you of the things that your baby can't or won't do. None of that matters now. YOU write your own story. NO ONE can tell you what your child will or will not do. There are no guarantees with any child. Your child with or without Down syndrome may or may not do things that you dream for them. It's ok...NO ONE knows. But s/he will LOVE you...that IS a guarantee!

It's ok that s/he will have to work a little harder and may take a little longer to reach those "milestones".  And it's ok to get discouraged sometimes. It takes time. But s/he will get there, with your help and when they do...you will scream with excitement. NO ONE can tell you what you child can or can not do. YOU are his teacher. His guardian. His biggest advocate. You are his mother. And he is your whole world! And that's better than ok. It's down right awesome! 

Welcome to the club, Mama<3  It's all going to be ok!

Love,

A very lucky mom to a very special little boy